Superbad meets Harry Potter!
by Kabutto
Summary: Ron and Neville is trying to get alcohol to Hermiones big party, and they're getting help from Harry, who just got himself a real fake ID card.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay this is Superbad, but in Harry Potter-version. Ron = Seth, Neville = Evan, Harry = Fogell, Jules = Hermione, Becca = Luna, Nicola = Cho, Officer Slater = Lupin, Officer Michaels = Sirius and the home economics teacher = Snape**

**Hope you like it, and my english can be a little bad sometimes, like in grammar or spelling. But I hope it's okay, enjoy the story and please review! ^^ **

**The next chapter will come soon!**

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><p><strong>Superbad meets Harry Potter!<strong>

**Chapter one. **

**The big party**

Ronald Bilius Weasley is... wait, you can just call him Ron Weasley, or just Ron. But, what the heck, let's move on. Right, Ron Weasley is a 15 year old boy. He isn't so very popular and he comes from a big and poor family. But Ron enjoyed his life, he had a great best friend and ...a not so great best friend.

His best friend is Neville Longbottom. Neville was a shy boy and he lived with his grandmother. And Ron's other friend... yeah, let's say he's a little bit different. His name is Harry, Harry Dursley, he's an orphan and he's raised by his aunt and uncle in the muggle world.

Ron had an crush on Hermione Granger, a cute and intelligent girl in his class. But Ron didn't know if Hermione felt the same about Ron. And Neville had an crush on Luna Lovegood, a Ravenclaw.

And Harry... wasn't brave enough to talk to girls. Ron and Neville knew that, but Harry himself didn't actually realized that. Yet. Harry had to good self-confidence.

In potions class, Hermione went to Ron and said: "Hey, Ron."

"Hi." Ron said and smiled.

"I'm having a party tonight and I thought... if... you wanted to come."

"S-sure."

"I'm having it in Hogsmeade."

"Cool. -I should -totally come."

Hermione smiled. "You should bring your friends." She walked away.

Ron looked at Neville, he was busy with his cauldron and he talked to Seamus, anther guy in their class.

"Hey! Neville!" Ron said.

"Yeah?" Neville replied and Seamus walked away.

"Hemione his having a big party tonight."

Then, they heard a voice from the hallway, it was Harry shouting: "Hey!" Ron looked at Neville and quickly whispered: "Don't tell Harry about the party." before Harry walked in the classroom and said with an happy smile:

"Wiiiiiiizards! What's up guys?"

Ron rolled his eyes.

"I was just walking down the hall and Cho Chang was walking right in front off me. She had her tight white pants and you could see her black underwear... it was sooo sweet! When I was stalking her and looked on her ass, she turned around and looked confused at me and I said what time it was." Harry looked proud.

"Oh- my- god-!" Ron said and pretended to be happy for Harry, but he was sarcastic. "That was like, the -greatest story ever! Can you please tell it again?"

"Yeah yeah sure, -but after school I'm going to a place to pick up my real fake ID!" And then, he started to dance a little dance, and he sung: "Chicka chicka yeah, chicka chicka yeah, fake ID, fake ID, I'm tight, I'm tight..!" He grinned.

"You're getting a fake ID?" Ron was a bit surprised.

"Yeah. I can show it to you after school."

"Cool, yeah, you must-."

"Mister Duuuursley." A voice said.

Ron, Neville and Harry turned around and saw Severus Snape, the potions master. ….Or, wait, he was just the teacher of the class.

"You're not in this class. Get away from here or get detention."

Harry stared at Snape and then walked away.

Then Snape looked at Ron and Neville and said: "How's going for you to lads? Bad, I hope?"

"No sir, it's going perfectly fine." Neville said with a shy smile.

"How... great."

He walked away.

Ron looked at Neville. Then he walked to Hermione and said: "Hey, Hermione, do you need help, with anything to the party?"

"Yeah, booze."

"I can buy it."

"But, you're not 17." Hermione frowned her forehead.

"Yeah, but I have an fake ID and.."

"You have an fake ID?" Luna interrupted.

"Yeah."

"That's sooo cooool. Could you get butter beer?"

"Yeah sure, bring me a list on what you need on the recess."

Hermione smiled. "Thanks a lot Ron, you're a great friend."

Ron smiled. "Um... thanks, um... see you, -tonight, at Hogsmeade."

Hermione nodded.

Ron went back to Neville.

"What's the plan then?" Neville asked.

"We are so going to the party tonight. -Aand we're going to get booze."

"How?"

"With Harry's fake ID of course."

– –

"You're saying that we are using him for get what we want?" Neville asked outside school.

"Yeah, is it something wrong with that?"

"Uhh.." Neville frowned his forehead.

Ron rolled his eyes. "But do you actually think he will make it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Not pussy out? He promises one thing, and then he pussy out and starts to cry."

"But you have done that too."

Ron glared at Neville. "Yeah, when I was like- 8 years old! We're 15 now! Almost adults."

They went to the road that led them to the entrance hall, the place where Harry promised they would meet. Ron and Neville waited in more than five minutes for Harry to show up. But he never came.

"Where the fuck is he?" Ron said with an angry voice.

"I don't know", Neville said calmly, "maybe he's just late. You're always late for class."

"That's another thing Neville. He pussy'd out. Like, -every fuckin' time! How do we supposed to get alcohol now?"

And then, they heard Harry shout: "Yo guys!"

"Dude, where have you been! Do you have it?"

"Calm down. Yeah, I have it, it's flawless. Check it ooouut." Harry gave him and Neville the ID-card.

Ron gasped. "What the..-"

"It's says you're from Hawaii. That's great... it's hard to trace I guess." Neville said. "Wait, -you changed your name to..." Neville looked at Harry. "McPotter?"

"Yeah." Harry said.

"What kind of a stupid name is that Harry? What are you trying to be, an irish wrock singer?"

"You can pick what ever you want there." Harry shrugged his shoulders.

Ron stared at Harry, then at Neville, and then back to Harry and said: "And you landed on McPotter?"

"Yeah... it was between that or Muhammed."

Ron's eyes got big. "Why the -FUCK would it been between that or Muhammed? Why couldn't you just pick a common name on a normal person?"

"Muhammed it's the most common name in the muggle world! Read a fuckin' book for once!" Harry glared back at Ron.

"Harry, have you actually met someone named Muhammed?" Neville asked Harry.

"Have _you_ met someone named McPotter?" Harry replied sarcastic.

"Because you picked a dumb fuckin' name." Ron said.

"Fuck you." Harry glared at Ron.

"Give me that." Ron grabbed the ID from Neville's hand and said: "You look like a future death eater, number one. And number two; you don't have a first name. It's just says MCPOTTER!"

"One name?" Neville said. "W-who are you? -Voldemort?"

"And it's says you're 21! Why wouldn't you just say you were 17?"

"Ron Ron Ron! Listen up, assface. Every day all the kids to the liquor store and on every single card it says they're 17. I mean, how many 17 year olds do you think they're are in this place?"

"It-it's an fine ID... It will work... just fine. We don't loose you heads, just like that. A-and it's up to you Harry, who do you wanna be? A kid with his fake ID or ...here's McPotter, the 21-year old Hawaiian organ doner?"

Ron slapped his forehead.

Harry started to grin and he said: "I am McPotter!" And he took the card from Neville's hand and put it in his pocket.

"No, you're not!" Ron said. "McPotter never exist. It's just a dumb fuckin fairytale name you FUCK!" Ron pushed Harry away and started to walked away.

"Where the hell is my broomstick?" Ron looked around in the janitor's closet.

"Why did you left your broom there? I mean, you're not the -_janitor_." Harry laughed.

"I KNOW that Harry!" Ron tried not to scream. "I KNOW- THAT-!"

"Let's leave." Neville said.

Ron and Neville walked away, and Harry shouted: "Hey, are you still gonna pick me up from practice? Can you please... answer me..?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the second chapter! :) I hope you like it. ^^**

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><p><strong>The black woman in the alcohol store - Madam Rosmerta<strong>

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><p><strong>Superbad meets Harry Potter!<strong>

**Chapter two. **

**West's are cool now.**

"Hey Ron, here's your list." Hermione said in the common room and gave him a piece of paper.

"Thanks." Ron smiled.

"Aren't you supposed to be ..-buying alcohol right now?" Hermione grinned a bit.

"Yes.. we should."

Ron turned around to Neville and dragged him up to the boys bed room.

"What should I wear to look like an adult?" Ron asked after he closed the door.

"I don't know, something ordinary, like a knitted cardigan or..."

"I don't look like an adult if I wear clothes that my mom made for me!" Ron hissed at Neville.

"Wear a shirt... or a work uniform!" Neville snapped his fingers and pointed at the shirtless Ron. "-Or you should make a polyjuice potion!"

"It takes like -two months to make it! And I'm not good at potions."

"Wear a shirt then." Neville shrugged his shoulders.

"That are you gonna wear?"

"Just ordinary clothes. ..-Should we check your brothers closet?"

– –

"What are you wearing?" Ron almost screamed, when he saw Harry walking to them. Harry was wearing a shirt, a brown vest and black pants. "What the fuck is that?" Ron pointed at Harry's vest.

"It's a vest, man." Harry said.

"You look like a young and good looking Hagrid."

"Really?" Neville looked at them both.

Neville wore a jumper and pants, and Ron was wearing his older brother Percy's formal suit, the one that Percy is wearing when he works at the Ministy of Magic.

They stood in front The Hog's Head in Hogsmeade, and it was sunny and hot outside.

"Okay, they have a lot of booze in there, it would be easy to walk in there and buy some." Ron said and pointed to the pub.

"I can't walk in there!" Harry said. "I'm working there! He knows I'm not 21."

"For bloody hell's sake I wasn't talking about you!" Ron hissed at Harry. "We're not using your fake ID! It's not gonna work. I must do it, by my own."

"Are you working there?" Neville asked Harry.

"Yeah.."

"Why?"

"Umm..-"

"Okay", Ron interrupted. "Wish me luck." He walked away and into the pub.

Harry looked at Neville and said: "Hey, my aunt said that I could bring my Game Boy to the summer camp-"

"Just shut up Harry, okay?" Neville interrupted. "And take off your vest, you look like Flitwick."

"Okay.. I should..." Harry interrupted himself. He realized that it was an akward moment and that he shouldn't speak at all.

"And what the fuck is an game boy?"

– –

Ron opened the door and looked inside. The old bartender Aberforth looked at Ron when he was walking towards to him.

"What do you want?" The old man said angry.

"Uhh..." Ron checked his list from Hermione and said: "I would like some butter beer... Whiskey..."

"I don't have any alcohol left do offer you. Go to The Three Broomsticks, they have all that shit."

"Uhh... okay."

Ron walked to the door.

"Have a nice day." Aberforth said, but Ron didn't answer. He walked to his two friends again and Neville asked: "How did it went?"

"Bad. That old man didn't have any booze left. We have to go to The Three Broomsticks. ..."

"Can't we use my fake ID?" Harry asked.

Ron sighted. "Sure.. but take off your stupid west."

– –

"Here's the list." Ron said and gave Harry the list. Harry looked confused.

"What's the list for?" He asked.

"The alcohol you're gonna buy."

"Uh-huh.." Harry started to read it, slowly to himself. "Butter beer... Kyles Killer Lemonade... Vodka... Whiskey..." He looked at Ron and Neville.

"Yeah", Ron said. "That's right. Go into the pub now and get our fuckin' booze!"

"Uhh.." Harry grimaced. "I..."

"What the fuck is wrong now Harry?" Neville asked.

"This is a lot of stuff."

"What difference does it make?"

"I don't think I can get away with all of this... I-I'm starting to get a little bit nervous.. I'm sweating..!"

Neville stared at Harry. "Harry what the problem now-"

"Just- I don't think I can make it! I should wear my west!"

"What the-" Ron shouted.

"What if my fake ID doesn't work? What if she turns me down? And makes a fool out of me in front of all those people? I can't do that!"

"This whole thing is bigger than you Harry! So grow a pair of nuts and go and by the alcohol!" Ron screamed.

Harry crossed his arms on his chest and snorted. "What if I don't feel like any more Ron?"

"Then I'm gonna fuckin' kill you! I'm gonna take my wand and kill you with the killing curse."

"You can do this man." Neville said to Harry, but he didn't listen.

"You can't get the alcohol by killing me off! I'm the one with the fake ID!" Harry said and started to act like a little child.

"Then I will cut off your hair, make a polyjucie potion off it and take your fake ID and go by it myself!" Ron screamed.

"Oh yeah?" Harry replied. "Really? You're not good at making potions, and it will take months to make a potion like that. So -HAH!" Harry made the peace sign right in front off Ron's face and said: "PEACE!"

Ron pushed him away and Harry started to walk to the pub.

Neville said: "Just be cool, okay? Get in and get out. Okay?"

– –

Harry walked into the pub and he couldn't see so may people at the tables. He felt a little bit lucky and started to walk to Madam Rosmerta to order all his alcohol. He walked towards to Rosmerta and said: "I want to order.." Harry picked up his list. "A six-pack of butter beer, three bottles of vodka, one bottle of whiskey... and three bottles of Kyles Killer Lemonade."

"Sure, but can I see your ID first?" Madam Rosmerta said.

"Oh, it makes me feel young again!" Harry said and grinned. He picked up his wallet from his pocket and gave Rosmerta his fake ID.

Rosmerta looked closely at it, looked at the smiling Harry, raised one eyebrow and said: "That will be 30 galleons and 10 sickles please."

Harry started to give Rosmerta all the money, but then he got punched in the face and fell on the floor and fainted. The man who punched Harry was wearing a black cape and he wore a black cone hat and a skull mask. He took all the money and then ran away from the pub.

Madam Rosmerta screamed, she went for her owl, a parchment and a quill. She gasped: "Oh- my- god-!" many times as she started to write on the parchment and then attached it to the owl. Then she opened the window and let the owl fly away. "To the order! Quickly!" She said. Then she walked to Harry and helped him up. "Are you okay mister?"

"What the fuck was that?" Harry whined.

Two men walked into the pub. The first one had greasy brownish hair and a lot of scars on his face and the other one had black curly hair down to his shoulders.

– –

"Oh no.." Neville said.

"What?"

"To men just walked into the pub, and they're talking about Harry!"

"Oh god. Is it teachers?"

"Worse, it's men from The Order of The Phoenix."

"Fuck!" Ron screamed. "How do we supposed to get alcohol now?"

"Hey, what about Harry?"

"Fuck Harry! The alcohol is much more important than him!"

Neville stared at Ron. "What?"

"Come on, let's leave!"

"No, I wanna see what's happe-"

"Okay then. I'm going!" Ron started to walk away, but he walked right on another man.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" The man said and helped Ron up.

"Piss off!" Ron dragged himself away.

"No, really, I'm sorry."

Neville walked to them. "What's going on?"

"I heard you talking about booze. I can help you get some. I'm actually going to a party, we have lots of booze there."

Neville frowned his forehead. He didn't really trust that guy. "No th-"

"Sure!" Ron interrupted.

"Cool, so... follow me."

Neville stared at Ron when they started to walk behind the man.

– –

"Thank god you're here!" Madam Rosmerta said.

"Right, how did he look?" The man with the brown hair said.

"He wore a black cape, a black cone hat and a skull mask."

"Right.. he's a member of the muggle guild KKK." They said and wrote it down on their notepad.

"No! He's an death eater." Madam Rosmerta answerd.

"A what?" The black haired man said.

"A death eater."

"Do he eat dead people?" The brown haired man asked and made a grimace.

"No, it's their name, on their... league."

"So he eats dead people?" The black haired man asked.

"No! Listen up, okay? The death eaters works for Voldemort!"

The man from the order nodded and wrote down at their notepad. "A man who eat dead people and is a member of the muggle guild KKK lead by Voldemort..."

"No!" Rosmerta screamed. "It's the name of their... just, -never mind. I'm so tired! I have been up and selling beer since 4 o'clock this morning! This- morning-!" She walked away.

The men stared at her with big eyes. "Okaaay." The black haired man said. And then they turned around to Harry and said: "Aaand you're the one who got punched."

"Yeah." Harry replied. "..Sorry, I didn't see his face, I can't give you-"

"That's okay", the brown haired man interrupted. "But we have to ask you for your name."

"My name?" Harry's eyes got big.

"Yeah."

"It's..." Harry swallowed. "M-...McPotter."

"And what's your first name?"

"Technically, I don't have any first name." Harry grinned.

The men stared at Harry for a bit. Then they smiled and the black haired man said: "Badass!"

"Yeah, totally badass." The other man said. "People have many weird name nowadays. Like Tom _Riddle _and Dumb-_leee_-dooore."

Harry calmed himself down. They fell for it.

"So it's only McPotter?" The brown haired man said.

"Yeah."

"Okay, can we see your ID?"

Harry nodded slowly. This was it. He gave them the card and Harry stopped breathing.

The men looked at the ID and then at each other, they whispered things and then the brown haired man said with a grin: "You're an organ doner."

Harry started to laugh and he relaxed. "Wha- yeah."

"Well, I'm Lupin, and he's Sirius Black." The brown haired man said. "Do you need a ride to...?"

"I-I'm going to a party."

"We can drive you there." Sirius Black said.

"No- my friends-"

"Come on, let's go."


End file.
